Wet and slippery Father’s Day happenings:

Wet and fast:

George, lying in my lap, looking up at the sky: “Is this the circle of life?”

Della: “Once I had a dream about a python and it squeezed me until I was dead and then a monster came and it took the python and me because they both came alive and then they attacked me and then they put me on a chandelier and then it burned me because it had fire inside.”

George says he doesn’t snuggle stuffed animals at night because if he does he will have bad dreams and his diarrhea will get really bad and he will have to go to the doctor.

Della: “I never could have been in the old days. They didn’t have the best furniture like we do now. Lots of people were poor. And some people did bondage.”

Della was teasing George about his dinosaur, which she was calling a vagina-saur. George said, “No, Della! You’re going to jail and I’m going to throw up on your back!”

George: “Daddy, you be Kung-Fu Panda and I’ll be your daddy the duck.”

And finally, George in an upcoming Wes Anderson film:

The kids were being crazy this morning and  Bappa said, “I hear they’re having a kid swap at Huntsville Park today. Maybe we should take you two down there.”

Della said, “What’s a kid swamp?”

“It’s where you can bring your kids and trade them for some different ones.”

Della started crying really hard. “No! I want to stay with my mommy and daddy!”

Bappa had to explain that he was just teasing, and there is no such thing as a kid swap, and that we would never trade them in even if there was a place where we could do that.

Later I heard Della threatening her brother, “George! You’re going to the kid swamp!”