“This Is True Stuff.”

Della was upset because Labor Day was coming up and Labor Day is a celebration of workers and she doesn’t work.


Steve: Are you talking to George, Della?

Della: No. I’m talking to everyone. Like I’m on the radio.

Della: Carson said my hair looks beautiful when I run in the wind.


Della: My spirit animal is kitties, lions, cheetahs, elephants, and vultures.

Me: Hmm, why vultures?

Della: Because they eat dead people and like stinky smells.


Della was telling me about having fun with Jackson on the playground. I said, “Oh that’s nice, what were you playing?” She said, “We weren’t playing. We were spending time together.”


Della calls me from the back room. I come running. She says, can you get me water with ice? I sigh and roll my eyes and go get it for her. When I hand it over she says, I love you. I say, oh that’s sweet of you to say. She says, I feel like I’m using you like a servant. I say, yeah kind of. She says, when you made that noise – sigh – it kind of sounded like that. I said, yeah you’re right, you’re very smart.


Della: I feel like the yellow crayon.

Me: What does the yellow crayon feel like?

Della: She worries she’s not perfect.


Della: I’m wrapping stuffed animals in coats. Because I’m going to a wedding. And the person who’s getting married is me.


Della: [Justin Bieber] said something about making mistakes.

Me: Yep, everybody makes them.

Della: And it’s ok. This is true stuff.

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Factual Things George Has Known

George: Dirt can’t hurt you. Only sharp things can hurt you.


According to George, these are the four basic shapes: “arrow, rainbow, key, wine glass.”


Me: Stop touching my breasts.

George: Why?

Me: They’re my private parts.

George: They are not. Do they shoot pee out of them?

Me: No.

George: Then they’re not. Milk is not private.


George: It seems like you’re hiding something from me, Daddy.

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George got the manual out of the Honda and said, I just want to look at this and learn things for when me and Della are teenagers and get our driver’s license.


George: You don’t know when I need to go potty because my penis is not attached to your body.


Della: Zero is the smallest number.

George: Yeah, zero is the baby!


George: But Della, listen to what I am supposing…