Factual Things George Has Known

George: Dirt can’t hurt you. Only sharp things can hurt you.


According to George, these are the four basic shapes: “arrow, rainbow, key, wine glass.”


Me: Stop touching my breasts.

George: Why?

Me: They’re my private parts.

George: They are not. Do they shoot pee out of them?

Me: No.

George: Then they’re not. Milk is not private.


George: It seems like you’re hiding something from me, Daddy.

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George got the manual out of the Honda and said, I just want to look at this and learn things for when me and Della are teenagers and get our driver’s license.


George: You don’t know when I need to go potty because my penis is not attached to your body.


Della: Zero is the smallest number.

George: Yeah, zero is the baby!


George: But Della, listen to what I am supposing…


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